Open letter to my father-in-law: 1 April 1920 - 12 December 2008

A little after 1:30 this afternoon my father-in-law crossed over. He was asleep at the time and his heartbeat and breathing both kept slowing until they stopped. It was peaceful.

Oscar used to have a great time teasing people (particularly children) by pretending to think their name was something other than what it really was. When my niece was about 4 years old (28 years ago), one day he called her Sam. She thought he was telling her his name was Sam. And from then on, that's what we all called him. For as long as Mike can remember, he had a predilection for telling people he was 15 years old. Sam actually turned 88 this year.


Dear Sam,

Thirty-one years ago this month, Pam invited me to come spend a few days with your family during the holiday. I'd been on weekends some during college, but this would be my first visit as an adult. And it was my first time to see Mike in several years. That holiday was so special. You and Mary always made me feel welcome and this time was no exception. It was a magical time for Mike and me. A few months later he & I eloped and all of us became family.

I always appreciated how you treated us as adults. I'm sure there were times you didn't agree with what we might be doing, or wondered if we had lost our minds, but you always gave us plenty of moral support while letting us learn to make our own way. Now that I'm a parent of a grown child, I know how hard that can be.

Every day that I have lived with your son I have seen and been grateful for the guiding compass you modelled and taught your children. That continues to live on in our children. Even though you are no longer here with us, your love and influence remain.

If I had not loved you before, you would have become a father to my heart that day when Abbey was 2 years old and she had you sitting fully clothed in the bathtub with a washcloth over your head to hide from the tornadoes. What perfect love of a grandfather for a grandchild. And I remember similar instances when you let DD#2 drag you all over creation on walks because there was something new still to see. I am so grateful that you encouraged the girls' imaginations. They always adored you because of things like that.

I wish you Godspeed in this new phase of your soul's journey. We will miss you.

Becky